It is safe to say that oil is pretty important to an engine, keeping things cool and slick so all those vital engine components keep from tearing themselves apart. Everyone knows to keep the engine happy, you need to make sure to keep some of that sweet, sweet Texas tea in the engine, but sometimes, someone messes up big time.
That unholy goop oozing out of the engine is a result of some poor, mixed up soul putting a whole bottle of windshield washer fluid into the oil. After filling, the driver reportedly drove for about 10 minutes before noticing excessive smoke coming from the exhaust. 10 minutes was long enough for the oil and washer fluid to churn into the goop we see above. While it is surely going to be an expensive and time consuming cleaning job, it is possible this engine could be saved since, for those ten minutes, there was still some sort of lubrication provided by the slime.
We like Jalopnik's suggestion, maybe fluids should start to come in different shaped containers to further idiot-proof car care.