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This just in: OVERHEAD CLEARANCE U-HAUL TRUCKS ARE TALLER THAN PASSENGER CARS.

The source of this breaking news is none other than U-Haul’s very own instruction manual. It seems that it would be unnecessary to actually commit this information to print, given that the actual size of a U-Haul truck is plastered on the side of the vehicle, but drivers still fail to appreciate the laws of physics.

For example, this driver. April 9, 2021. Black Hawk, Colorado. A driver fails to appreciate that size really does matter, and slam-bams their way through a parking garage, damaging concrete fixtures and the delicate sprinkler system.

Here’s the thing: If you drive into a garage, and you smack into the clearance bar at the entrance, this is quite literally your sign to throw it into reverse and give up as quickly as possible. Or, you can pull a stunt like this and just bash your way through like Super Smash Brothers. Except while that’s a video game, in which breaking things has no real-life implications, destroying a building’s emergency sprinkler system is really bad news.

Let’s just examine the possible ramifications here, emphasis on “ram.” Most sprinkler systems like this are connected directly to the local emergency services systems, which means the local fire department could get involved. There’s likely some sort of fine or penalty for tampering with a public safety system. Plus, U-Haul is not going to be super thrilled about the damage to the truck.

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Since most people don’t just Hulk Smash through a garage with a large U-Haul unprovoked, it’s probably safe to assume that this driver is already having a really bad day. But, here’s a word to the wise: It is very possible to make a really bad day so much worse, and destroying a building, a sprinkler system, and a U-Haul truck definitely qualifies as “making things worse.”

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So, the next time you discover that the vehicle you are driving is too big to fit in your destination, take a deep breath (or 20), park somewhere safe for a moment, and come up with a Plan B that doesn’t involve utter destruction.

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