Because none of us are adults and we all need a helping hand to pilot our way through life without ending up twisted in to a ball of smoldering slag, Nissan Great Britain has announced the introduction of a 200-year-old "modern marvel" into their cars.
The Signal Shield is a box designed to keep all those pesky notifications from distracting you, thus saving you the embarrassment of a ticket or much, much worse. Think of it as the Schrodinger's box of tech. Are you getting texts? Is Ashley texting you? Is she?! No one knows. Your phone is in a box, you lummox.
The Signal Shield allows you to still listen to music locally saved to your phone, but streaming anything will require you to open it up, thus defeating the purpose. In the end, a lot of this seems like it could be solved by simply shutting your phone down and paying attention to the death machine you're piloting at high speeds though narrow spaces.
Stop staring at your phone, ya dingus, and look at the road while listening to some obscure podcast like the rest of us.
Related: Britain is done messing around with drivers using cell phones