It's now illegal to roll coal in one state


People who purposely roll coal onto passing pedestrians or other motorists are obnoxious. The Colorado state legislature finally acknowledged this when they made the infuriating practice illegal this week according to the Colorado Independent. They just needed to decide whether coal rollers necessarily intended to engage harassment of others.

Rolling coal is a term for a car/truck that's vomiting smoke in the air like it's the villain in an episode of Captain Planet. Vehicles don't usually do this, unless they are dying, without some form of modification. In this case, drivers need to install a "smoke switch" before they can become the human embodiment of a rabies-riddled moose screaming, "drill, baby, drill!"

Opponents of coal rolling in Colorado argued, somewhat sensibly, that installing the switch implied the driver's intent to engage in shenanigans, which can be equated to teabagging baby polar bears. On the other side, some were saying the driver might not intend to be harassing people with his/her imitation of a tire fire. Maybe these drivers just want to waste diesel and belch black smoke because of the way it makes them feel? Which is what, dirty?

Related: Rolling coal goes from black to white in a truck pull gone wrong