Jane Austen would probably be the better choice as a writer for this article, because she could tell you that, "It is a truth universally acknowledged" that a man in possession of a stripped down Tesla Model S will kick ass off the line in a eighth-mile drag.
That's exactly what happened when YouTuber Tesla Racing Channel took his Tesla down to the 710 Dragway in Rowland, North Carolina. And in predictable North Carolina fashion, someone drank too much in between runs and got pissed when the Tesla, which has all the torque, beat everyone it faced. Yes, it even beat the Camaro driver who foolishly offered to give him a head start.
Some of these cars could absolutely fleece the Tesla in the long haul, but this performance is pretty encouraging. A future with electric cars speeding to victory in every race seems pretty great, even if it means we need to strap JBLs to the hood for that V8 roar.