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A terribly slow transmission, a criminally under-powered 4-cylinder engine, and a poor production line made the Porsche 944S a woefully underwhelming offering from the storied car maker. If you remember the 1980’s you might feel differently about the boxy 944s, but nostalgia can do that to your memories. It can turn what is truly a half-hearted, middle-of-the-road offering from the German car manufacturer that lassoed in the nouveau riche crowd at the end of the Reagan era into a real gem, but it’s a hot pile of crap and you should never forget it.